I used to be like that. I worked full time, was a full time college student and never had a minute where I wasn't working, studying or out with friends. Literally every minute of my day was accounted for by one of those three things with sleeping and eating tossed in for good measure.
Today, I was sitting in my living room. It was quiet, there was some great music on, the windows were open, a slight breeze was blowing through. I was knitting on a skirt and it dawned on me. I was having one of those days were it was just downright relaxing. I had no place I had to be. Nothing needed cleaning. Nothing to cook. The tv wasn't blaring. It was just downright nice, almost like a scripted scene in a movie.
What is sad, I can't remember the last time I had one of those days. Now, there were things that I could have been doing, after all, it's never all totally done. The thing is there was nothing pressing. I literally just sat there and enjoyed the moment. It was pure relaxation.
I have lots of friends who never have a moment to themselves. I have a friend who literally has no time to herself except when she's grabbing a shower or sitting on the train to and from work. That travel time is her only time to read. Her life is so chucked full of "stuff" that she has no free time at all.
The question that comes to my mind is: Do we fill our lives up so that we don't have to deal with ourselves? Are we afraid to be alone with our thoughts inside our own heads?
Today people have computers, tablets, phones and now glasses that fill our lives up with constant flows of information. We never have to stop and just be. It's hard to be on 24/7...but it's way harder to be just with ourselves and alone with our thoughts.
I admit, I'm a gadget freak. I adore social media. I love knowledge, learning and figuring things out. The biggest thing I've had to figure out lately...is me. Once I backed away from all the above mentioned technology and did that, it was rather enlightening.
I'm not afraid to sit in silence anymore and just enjoy the fact that I exist. It's weird and it's hard to just let it happen. I am, however, very happy I have learned to actually enjoy being alone with my own thoughts.